being a mother · challenges · changes · God's will · God's-glory · God's-way · miscarriage · moments-in-time · pregnancy-loss · surrender

Until We Can…

It has been a year since the day that changed our lives forever and began a journey neither of us saw coming. A journey that was ordained by God in the plan that He had for the life of my husband and I.

You see, a year ago today, started out like any other day. We both were scheduled to work that day, so we both headed to our jobs. The day before had been the first appointment of what we supposed would be many appointments over the next 6-7 months. And we were excited, to say the least! 🙂 God had heard our prayers and our desires to have a family.

But before the day was over, it began to appear that our little one was too precious for earth. 👼 It seemed that our little one would never feel the hurt and pain of this world, but rather the first thing that they would see would be the face of God.

And amidst the grief, we wondered “why”. And later that week, it seemed like, amidst the pain and sorrow, that I was experiencing some complications. But praise the Lord for hospitals and doctors. After an emergency surgery, it was determined not to be a complication, but a separate problem, that was compounded by the loss. And once again, we wondered “why us?” But God had a purpose, and as time went on and healing took place, God gave us strength for each and every moment.

Life took a new normal after Araya went home to Jesus. Healing took place in both of our lives and we felt drawn to Heaven in a new sense. We longed for Heaven in a new way.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. We had felt the grief of a miscarriage that not too many experience, or so we thought. After the earthly loss of Araya, we soon found out that there were many others who had walked this road – others who were willing to come alongside us and help us heal.

Ten short months later, we were waiting for an appointment with a local fertility doctor, as our OB/GYN had given us a referral. But 2 days after that appointment, after meeting with the doctor to find out our options, we were shocked, but pleasantly surprised to find out another little bundle of joy was on their way.

Madison Skye: February 18, 2020

For 3 short weeks, we treasured that joy and began to hope once again for an earthly family. But – it was not meant to be, for God had called our little one to His side once again.👼 And we wondered “why us again”. And our hearts ached for our little ones that were held in the arms of Jesus. But the same Jesus, who held our little ones, was waiting to embrace us in His arms as we cried and began to heal once again.

Early pregnancy loss is more common than we realize. And even though, these little ones were never held in our arms, they had found their places in our hearts. With their loss, they leave behind a void that is hard to explain. Though we would never wish this loss on anyone, for us, it has made us aware of how real such a loss is. And through it all, our hearts’ desire, is that God would be glorified through our pain.

Beautiful blooms from friends and family

With each loss, many surrounded us with love and prayers. Aside from all our wonderful friends and families, we were made aware of resources for pregnancy loss that we never knew existed. Each of these ministries made it their personal mission to alleviate the burden of couples going through pregnancy loss and/or infertility.

A few of those resources:

Moms in the Making

Hope Mommies

I Am Fruitful

Only God knows what the next year may hold, but we can rest in peace, knowing that He holds the future in His hands. And that He cares about each one of us! Keep serving where you are planted!

Until the next time!

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